The Perfect Daughter
by Delving
Summary: A homicide investigation takes a terrifying twist when it is discovered that Ryan's 16-year-old daughter is involved. Future!Castle/AU/Multi-Chapter Characters: K. Ryan, J. Esposito, K. Beckett, R. Castle, Sarah R., OC
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own _Castle_ or any of the show's original characters. All rights belong to their respective owners.

 **Chapter 1**

 _ **Sarah's POV**_

"Hey, Sarah, you wanna hang out after school?"

The question was matched beautifully with a warm and sincere smile. The girl stood with her arms hugged around her textbooks, waiting patiently, hopefully, for Sarah to answer 'yes.'

Sarah Ryan averted her gaze, tucking her straight, blond hair behind her ear nervously. "Oh. Um, no, sorry. But thank you, for the offer, though."

"Some other time maybe?" the girl asked, persistent.

"Yeah, sure," Sarah said. A lie, of course. But she couldn't stand to be any ruder to a girl so nice, a girl whose name she couldn't even remember.

"Cool," the girl said, her smile never falling from her lips. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, okay." Sarah turned to her locker and pretended to be sorting through the clutter busily. She didn't stop until the nice girl's footsteps had gone down the hallway. Then, she sighed, dropping her chin to her chest. "You're such an idiot," she whispered. "She was trying to be your friend." _You can't afford friends…you can't afford casualties._

Sarah slammed her locker door shut. Not angrily. Frustrated, she decided. Everything was going wrong. Every word she said, every decision she made seemed to dig her young grave another shovel full of dirt deeper. And her dad being a cop was like the headstone of all her mistakes. True, it wasn't her fault he was her father. But it was her fault the daughter she'd turned out to be.

 _ **Esposito's POV**_

"How's Sarah doing?" Esposito asked, walking shoulder to shoulder with Ryan as they approached the crime scene, pulling on their gloves. They didn't know much about anything yet, but they did know the shooting victim was young, a white male, in his late teens. This was one of the hardest crime scenes to deal with, and it helped, sometimes, to hear about a kid that was doing well.

Ryan smiled. "She's doing great. Good grades in school, looking at some awesome colleges."

"Haven't seen her around the station much recently," Esposito said.

"Yeah," Ryan agreed, "I think she's going through a phase where it isn't cool to hang out with your dad, you know? Plus, she's planning on getting involved in some extracurricular activities to put on her college application."

Esposito suppressed a chuckle as he inquired, "Any special someone in her life?"

The reaction he received from his partner was priceless, and more than he could have hoped for. Ryan visibly stiffened and squared his shoulders. "Sarah's too young to date," he said uncomfortably.

"Oh, c'mon," Esposito retorted, "Bro! She's sixteen now! She's in high school."

"She can date when she's eighteen," Ryan shot back.

Esposito rolled his eyes. "Let me tell you something, Kevin, as a guy who remembers high school like it was yesterday." Ryan snorted in disbelief, but Esposito ignored him. "High school is a hormonal breeding ground, man! I'll bet you a hundred bucks that Sarah has had at least one boyfriend since her freshman year."

Ryan made a noise in the back of his throat. "If Sarah were dating anyone, I _guarantee_ I would have heard about it. And I haven't."

"Okay, man, if that's what you want to believe."

"I do, 'cause it's the truth. Sarah and I are close. She knows she can tell me anything," Ryan stated.

Before Esposito could make a reply, they had come upon the body of their victim.

"Damn," Ryan breathed, kneeling beside the body. "Just a kid."

Esposito frowned. "Looks to be in his late teens. Wonder what the hell he was into to get himself shot."

"This is always the hardest kind of case to work, ya know?" Ryan asked, looking up at his partner. "I hate this kind of case."

"We all do," Esposito agreed. "But someone's got to catch the SOB who did this."

"Yeah." Ryan's eyes returned to the body, studying the three bullet holes in the kid's chest. "And it might as well be us."

 _ **Beckett's POV**_

Captain Beckett came out of her office and approached the murder board two of her best detectives were setting up. Ryan put up a picture of the victim's face, ashen and speckled with blood. Next to it, he put a blown up picture they had found on the kid's ID, a smiling, roguish face mugged for the camera.

"Eighteen-year-old Jace Owens," Esposito said, opening the file he'd had tucked under his arm. "Foster kid; jumped from home to home; school to school. That's what we got from social services. Other than that, he doesn't have so much as a parking ticket."

Beckett studied the photos. "Cause of death?" she asked.

"Three gunshot wounds to the chest," Ryan replied. "The killer was thorough. They ally was overwhelmed with prints, and there were no prints on the body. The bullets passed straight through, and there was residue on the body, so he was shot at very close range. We looked for the bullets, and found a few holes in the wall behind Owens, but the bullets had been dug out."

"On top of that," Esposito said, "the ally has no security cameras, so we've got nothing there either."

"Wow," Beckett said, crossing her arms and offering her subordinates a weary grin, "sounds like you two have your work cut out for you."

Esposito smiled. "The ally might not have had cameras, but a convenience store down the street does, and it happened to catch someone walking down the street at around three thirty this morning toward the ally, and then three minutes later, he's caught running the opposite direction. The morgue puts Owens death between two-thirty and four-thirty."

"Putting your suspect right in the middle," Beckett said. She added, "But how are you going to ID this guy?"

Ryan put up another picture on the board. "The store owner recognized him. Emory Doyle, a homeless drug addict who frequents the area. Owner says that he comes to the store about once every couple weeks with a wad of cash…"

The photo was a mug shot, a man whose face was mostly hidden by unkempt facial hair, but his eyes were a startling pale blue in contrast with his dark hair and weathered tan.

"How're you gonna find him?" Beckett asked.

"Already did," Esposito said. "He was entirely wasted."

"We're letting him sleep it off in holding," Ryan added.

Beckett sighed. "Well, I hope he's the guy you're looking for."

"So do we, Captain," Esposito agreed.

 _ **Ryan's POV**_

The moment Ryan sat down across from their suspect, his hopes of ending the case anytime soon died. This nervous, antsy man was in no way capable of holding a gun to someone's chest and shooting three times for the kill. On top of that, Owens would have been able to overpower Emory effortlessly, without a doubt. Whoever Owens' killer was, it wasn't Emory Doyle.

However, Emory obviously knew something about the victim, because every time Ryan mentioned Owens' name, Emory jumped a little in his seat, or shifted, or changed the subject to something random.

"I don't know what you want from me," Emory whined, slouching in his chair, and picking at the chain of his handcuffs.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "You know _exactly_ what we want from you. Tell us how you knew Jace Owens."

"I need to pee," Emory said.

Ryan gritted his teeth. "Answer the question, Emory."

The drug addict's eyes looked everywhere but at Ryan. "I don't know him! I told you already."

"For some reason, I don't believe you." Ryan pushed back from the table, standing up to deliver the photograph of the gunned-down teen. "How. Do. You. Know. Him."

Emory's eyes averted the photograph, and he stared with unwavering interest at his discolored fingernails. "I didn't really _know_ him," he said finally, "I just worked for him a little, that's all."

"Worked for him how? What did you do for him?"

"I picked stuff up for him, okay?" Emory cried. "He'd give me an address; I'd go get a package from the place he told me to go, and bring it to him in the alley. Then he'd give me some cash, and I'd leave. I never asked any questions."

"Do you have any guesses as to what he was into?" Ryan felt his tension headache ease slightly as the dimwitted witness started to break under the light pressure he'd put the guy under. He didn't suspect Emory of murdering Jace whatsoever.

Emory shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "No! I don't! I just did it for the money. That's it!"

"Do you know of anyone whom might know what Jace was up to?"

Finally, Emory's eyes met his, and he looked almost excited as he said, "Yeah! I do!"

When the man didn't elaborate, Ryan prompted, "Who?"

"I don't know her name," Emory admitted, "but I saw her with him almost every time I brought by a package."

"What did she look like?"

Emory smiled crudely. "She was hot. A blonde girl. Blue eyes. Awesome legs…"

Ryan cut him off, "How old was she?"

That question caused Emory to sober up a bit. "I dunno. Teenager," he said. "I wasn't into her weird or anything, I'm just telling you the facts."

"Could you describe her to a sketch artist?" Ryan asked, trying to ignore the sensation of his skin crawling at the thought of some man ogling a girl probably around his daughter's age.

"Sure," Emory agreed, now on the defensive, "If that'll get me out of here quicker. 'Cause I haven't done anything wrong!"

Ryan smiled irritably. "Thank you for your cooperation, sir. You make my job a lot easier." Sarcasm dripped off every syllable.

Emory squirmed. "Can I go to the bathroom now?"

"Sure," Ryan said, standing and using a hand to indicate the door. "After you."

He followed the idiot witness out the door.

 _ **Sarah's POV**_

Sarah walked into the 12th precinct, homicide division. She saw her dad's empty desk across the bullpen, but his partner, Detective Esposito was at his desk, staring hard at his computer screen. She took a deep breath and walked across the crowded office. "Hey, Uncle Javi," she said when she was close enough to be heard over the bustle.

Javier looked up and grinned. "Hey, girl. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see my dad. Is he around?"

"He's in an interrogation right now. We just landed a case this morning, and our witness isn't being very cooperative."

"Oh," Sarah said.

"You're welcome to wait for him if you want. He should be out in a few minutes." Javier pointed to the chair by his desk.

"Cool, thanks," Sarah said, sitting down. She dropped her book bag at her feet and let her eyes wander the room, purposely avoiding the murder board. She hated that thing. When she was little, before she learned to resist the temptation of looking at it, it had been the source of many of her nightmares. Her dad had always tried to avert her attention, keep her from looking, turn the board around, but a kid will find a way to do whatever they want if they have the will. Now, at 16, Sarah had finally figured out it was a blessing not to see the mangled bodies of victims, the innocent gazes of potential murderers, and the vast array of available weapons bloodied from violence.

"Is everything okay?" Javier asked.

Sarah looked at him and smiled. "Oh, yeah. Everything's fine."

"You seem quiet," he said.

"Oh." Sarah laughed. "Well, you know. Everything's fine if you don't count cute, disinterested boys; mean girl gossip and a million hours of homework…you know. The usual high schooler's life story."

He didn't believe her; she could see it. How on earth did she think she could lie to a veteran homicide detective who dealt with truth and lies every day? But Sarah kept eye contact and held it until Javier grinned reluctantly. "Oh. If that's all…"

Sarah smiled and glanced away, her eyes coming to the dreaded murder board. That's when she saw him. That's when the last shovel full of dirt came flying out, and she felt herself free-falling into that hole. That's the moment when her whole, fragile world she'd done everything to hold together, shattered.

 _ **Ryan's POV**_

As they walked into the main office area, Ryan saw his daughter sitting at his partner's desk. She looked terrified, her gaze glued to the murder board. Ryan sighed, wondering what therapy she'd need this time. As he and Emory got closer, about to walk in front of the murder board, Emory started to stare at Sarah, his eyes moving up and down her body. Ryan reached up to give creep a good shake and a shove when Emory stopped and pointed straight at Sarah. "That's her. That's the girl!"

Ryan's heart skipped a beat as he grabbed Emory by both arms and pushed him forward roughly. "Shut up, you freak. Keep moving."

But Emory resisted, craning his neck to look back at Sarah, drawing the attention of everyone in the room as he shouted. "I'd know that girl anywhere! That's her, that's Jace's girl!"

Ryan struggled to keep Emory moving, calling for assistance. He saw Esposito pulling Sarah out of her chair and leading her into the break room. But Sarah was looking back, her eyes watching Emory. Ryan didn't want to see what he saw next: recognition, fear, anger, panic.

"Get him down to a cell!" Ryan demanded to the cops that came to his aid.

Once Emory was out of his custody, the first thing Ryan did was run to the bathroom and heave the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

 _ **Esposito's POV**_

Everything happened so fast. One second, Esposito was realizing that Sarah was having a negative reaction to the murder board, the next, their suspect, Emory, was right there, going crazy, pointing and lunging at Sarah and saying, "That's Jace's girl!"

Esposito's first impulse was to take control of the situation; however, he resisted the urge to deck Emory between the eyes, and stood up, grabbed Sarah's arm, pulled her to her feet and led her into the break room. While she didn't resist, her attention was entirely enthralled with Emory.

"Here, sit down," he said, pulling her away from the window and gently pushing her onto the couch. He went back to the window and closed the blinds. The window on the door was still open, but since they couldn't see Emory through it, Esposito left it alone. He sat down next to Sarah on the couch, putting himself between her and the door. "Are you okay, Sarah?" he asked.

Sarah wouldn't look at him. Her gaze was still trained out through the window and into the bullpen.

"Sarah? Look at me, okay? Can you look at me?" Esposito tried to avert her gaze by shifting himself into her line of vision.

Finally, Sarah's gaze met his. "Where's my dad?" she asked.

"I'm sure he'll be right in," Esposito said, "He's taking care of that freak right now."

"His picture was on the board," Sarah said. Her voice broke. "Did he kill…"

"We don't know, probably not," Esposito said. "He's just a witness.

 _ **Beckett's POV**_

Beckett heard the shouting from her office. She immediately stood, reaching instinctively for her holster. Staring through the open blinds, she saw Ryan struggling with their suspect, Emory, shoving him forward while Emory seemed to be resisting Ryan's propelling. The suspect's head was turned as far back as he could under the circumstances, and his eyes were glued to the person sitting in the chair next to Esposito's desk: Sarah Ryan.

Beckett made her way around her desk, her eyes never leaving the scene as a couple of uniformed officers suddenly appeared, apprehending Emory from Ryan's custody. Esposito had already caught hold of Sarah's arm, hauling her to her feet and leading into the break room, away from the commotion. Sarah was visibly upset, allowing herself to be directed, but her face was always turned toward Emory, watching him with the same intensity as he was trying to watch her.

Beckett opened her door and strode out into the bullpen. She raised her voice to be heard over Emory's shouting. "That's enough out of you," she said forcibly.

"You don't understand," Emory said, his blue eyes piercing her gaze wildly. "That's the girl I was telling that detective about. That's Jace's girl! I'm telling you, I don't need no sketch artist!"

Beckett simply stared at him for a couple confused seconds before she seconded the order Ryan had already given. "Take him down to holding. I'll talk to him later."

As the officers led the suspect away, Beckett glanced into the break room. Esposito was sitting next to Sarah on the couch, leaning forward with his face turned to her. But Sarah didn't look at her honorary uncle. She was looking at Beckett.

Beckett resisted the urge to rush in and assess the situation. She glanced around for Ryan, who doubtlessly should be in comforting his daughter; however, he wasn't in the bullpen anymore, and she knew he hadn't gone down to take Emory to holding.

"Where's Detective Ryan?" She asked one of the other detectives sitting at their desk close by.

The man nodded toward the restrooms. "He went in there. Looked like he was about to be sick, honestly."

Beckett frowned. She couldn't imagine what it must feel like to have your daughter verbally assaulted like that, and having no power to make the idiot stop his ranting. She considered going in and talking to Ryan, letting him know that they had everything under control now and he should really be with his daughter; however, she thought better of it and decided to send Esposito in. They were partners, after all, and she could sit with Sarah.

She went in the break room. "I'm sorry about that, Sarah," she said, closing the door behind her.

"Where's my dad?" Sarah asked.

Esposito looked up at Beckett as well, his eyes silently requesting an answer as well.

Beckett hesitated a moment. "He'll be in in a minute. He had to take care of our suspect. Espo, why don't you go see how he's doing? I'll stay with Sarah."

"Sure," Esposito said, standing.

Beckett leaned in as he approached the door. "Check the restroom," she said under her breath.

Esposito nodded and left.

Beckett took his place on the couch beside Sarah. "That doesn't happen every day," she said, putting a reassuring hand on Sarah's back. "But you seem to be handling it well."

Sarah stared at the floor, clutching her hands together between her knees. "Captain Beckett, can I ask you something?" she asked.

Beckett was startled by the use of her official name coming from the girl she'd known literally since birth. She'd always been known as "Aunt Kate" or "Katie" to Sarah. Never Captain Beckett. "You know you can ask me anything, Sarah," Beckett said softly.

Sarah took a deep breath. "Is Jace really dead?"

 _ **Esposito's POV**_

Confused, Esposito stalked to the bathroom and went to the only stall with its door closed. "What the hell, Kevin!" he demanded, "Your daughter needs you right now. Get out of there, you idiot!"

The stall door unlatched, and Ryan stood there, his eyes red-rimmed, his face ashen. He looked worse off than Sarah. Esposito regarded at him sympathetically. "Dude," he said. "Pull yourself together. Sarah can't see you like this. I know what happened was horrible, but you need to snap out of it."

"I don't think Emory's lying," Ryan said.

Esposito could have sworn he didn't hear Ryan correctly. "Excuse me?"

Ryan's eyes came up to meet Esposito's. "I think Emory's telling the truth. Sarah knew Jace."

"No," Esposito said, "shut up, man. Don't let that perp get in your head. What the hell, man? Are you really going to think that about your little girl?"

Ryan stiffened, his dazed expression solidified fiercely. "You think I want to believe that? You think I want it to be true?" he snapped. "I saw her face, Javi, before you got her into the break room. She knew Emory. And she was scared, not because of what he was doing, but because of what he was saying. He was ratting her out, and that's what scared her!"

"No," Esposito said. "That's not true. You need to come and see Sarah Grace for yourself. She needs you, Kevin. She needs her dad."

Ryan took a deep, shuddering breath, his features softening as he ran his hands over his face. "But what if it is true, Javi?"

Esposito hesitated, considering. "If it is true — which is isn't! — then you're going to be a dad, not a cop."

"Yeah," Ryan said, nodding, "Yeah." He went to the sink and rinsed his face, drying it with the paper towels Esposito handed to him. He didn't look good, but he looked better.

 _ **Sarah's POV**_

"Did you know Jace Owens?" Kate asked.

Sarah couldn't look at her…wouldn't, she supposed. She knew what Kate would see when she answered, when she finally allowed the light to touch the edges of her darkness. The darkness she had worked for months—years even—to hide from her parents. "He is, I mean, he was my…boyfriend."

When Kate didn't immediately explode, Sarah dared to cast a sideways glance, catching the look of utter shock on her dad's boss's face. Kate was simply staring at her, her mouth slightly agape.

"My dad doesn't know. Neither does my mom," Sarah continued. "I couldn't let them know."

"I'm sorry, Sarah, that you had to find out like this," Kate said, her voice unsure and halting.

Sarah offered a bitter smile. "Yeah, well, I sure didn't want my dad to find out like—that." She gestured toward the door. Her breathing hitched as the impact of what was happening started to actually register. Tears threatened, but Sarah brushed them away bitterly. "I don't…I mean…Jace was fine last night, when I talked to him on the phone." Sarah sniffed, touched her nose against the cuff of her pullover, and then turned her face full-on to Kate. "Are they sure it's him? I mean, it could be like, his cousin or something. He's been a foster kid since he was little, doesn't know any of his real family. Maybe I can call him?"

But Kate shook her head. "I'm sorry, Sarah. It's him."

Sarah tried to hold her breath, tried to keep the panic, the pain, from bubbling up and overflowing into everything. But breath after breath escaped, and suddenly, she was leaning against Kate her entire body being wracked by sobs.

 _ **Ryan's POV**_

Ryan followed Esposito into the break room, and when he saw his daughter in anguished tears, he regretted ever believing she might have been involved with Jace. Had he allowed his life as a homicide detective to make him so cynical that he even allowed his own daughter to be scrutinized through the lenses of his work-life?

"Sarah, honey, I'm so sorry," Ryan said though Sarah would never know that the words had a double meaning. He knelt down in front of her and tried to bring her attention to him. "Sweetie, that never should have happened."

Beckett shifted, gently pushing Sarah away from her and towards Ryan. "I'll leave you two alone for a few minutes." She stood up, and then added, "Espo, can I have a word in my office, please?"

"Sure, captain," Esposito agreed. He gave Ryan's shoulder a gentle clap before following Beckett out of the room.

Ryan got up on the couch, an arm wrapped around Sarah while the other reached for the box of tissues on the coffee table beside him. "Here, sweetheart, here's a tissue."

Sarah took one and blew her nose, folded it, and attempted to remove some of her smearing mascara from under her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Dad," she said, taking a deep breath. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Of course not," Ryan said, "And it shouldn't have happened. It was my fault, really…I should have brought the witness through the bullpen another way."

"No, Dad," Sarah said, pulling away from him and moving to the far end of the couch. "That's not what I mean. That guy, your witness, he wasn't lying. I do know Jace, and Emory has seen me with him before…a few times."

Ryan felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. The air abandoned his lungs, and he struggled to breathe.

"Dad, are you okay?" Sarah reached out and clutched his arm. "Dad?"

Ryan's tongue clung to the roof of his mouth, but he tried to shove words past the painful lump forming in his throat. "You," he began, but his voice failed him and he had to start again, "You knew Jace?"

"Dad, I think I should talk to Kate," Sarah said. "You look sick." Fear was evident on her face.

"But," Ryan continued, "you can't've known him…he was, he was into some bad stuff, Sarah, and you aren't that kind of girl."

Tears began to fall anew as Sarah whispered. "I didn't want to be, Dad. I'm so sorry."

 _ **Esposito's POV**_

Something was up, Esposito could tell.

When he'd left the break room to get Ryan, it was like Sarah had been in denial, as though the situation with Emory had stunned her and she couldn't react. When he and Ryan got back, she was a wreck, as though her entire world had fallen apart. He didn't doubt it had been a terrifying experience, or that Sarah shouldn't feel emotional, even if it was delayed; however, he'd never seen any girl go from point A to point B so fast in his life. Maybe he didn't remember what high school girls were like after all. Then again, maybe Beckett had made her feel safe to unleash her emotions while he had made her feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Once they were safely closed in Beckett's office, Beckett didn't waste any time. "Sarah and Jace Owens were in a relationship."

"What?" Esposito's mind was reeling. After all the assurances he'd given to Ryan…and then that episode with Ryan in the alley where they found the body, about Sarah having a secret boyfriend. He gripped one of the chairs in front of Beckett's desk for support, though he tried to do it almost casually. "Are you sure?"

"She told me herself," Beckett said. "The last time she spoke to him was last night, and she said that everything seemed fine."

"So we're gonna have to interview her," Esposito said.

Beckett pressed her lips together. "Yeah."

"Is Sarah going to tell Kevin?" Esposito asked.

Beckett glanced out her office door. "She has to. I wanted to give them a little time to talk about it on their own before we had to do anything, but I think we should go in there now. Sarah might have some idea as to what Jace was into."

"When Emory pulled his little stunt in the bullpen, he said something about Sarah being Jace's girl, which means Sarah wasn't just in a relationship with Jace, she was there when Emory met Jace."

"Did you find out what Emory was meeting Jace about?" Beckett asked.

Esposito shook his head. "Ryan had just gotten out of the interview with him when Emory started shooting off his mouth. We didn't get time to discuss anything."

Beckett's frown deepened. "We'd better get back to Ryan and Sarah. She may have the key to solving Jace's murder."

 _ **Sarah's POV**_

Was her dad old enough to have a heart attack? He wasn't elderly, but he certainly wasn't a young man anymore. The creases in his face, the silvery strands beginning to infiltrate his otherwise brown hair was evidence of that. But her dad had always seemed invincible, and even on his worst days, he always had a smile to spare for his family, to let them know everything was fine…or that it was going to be.

But with her words, it was as though he shattered. Everything he had ever withstood could not compare to the disappointment of his daughter turning criminal. This was exactly why she had hidden everything from him and her mom. It was to protect them. To save them the pain of a failure of a daughter.

 _Or maybe it was to protect myself_ , a voice inside her whispered.

"Dad," Sarah said, her fingers still gripped around his arm, "please, say something."

He was staring at the floor, but her voice drew his gaze up to meet hers again. "What was Jace into, Sarah?" he asked faintly.

Sarah hesitated. "I don't know," she said at last. "I just know he would get money, a lot of money, in packages. But he never told me why he was getting it, where it was from."

"Drugs?" her dad asked.

Sarah closed her eyes. "No. I don't think so."

"You need to tell us everything you know, Sarah, no holding back," her dad said. He was transforming again, from father to broken to cop.

"I know," Sarah said, "but, Dad, don't make me tell you. I want to talk to Uncle Javi or Kate. Please, Dad."

"Sarah, I just want to help you."

Sarah nodded. "I know."

Before her dad could say anything else, the break room door opened, and Kate and Javier came into the room. "Sarah, can we talk to you about Jace?" Beckett asked.

"Yeah," Sarah said. She stood up and looked once more at her father before following Kate out the door.

 _ **Ryan's POV**_

Ryan watched Sarah follow Beckett out of the room; however, Esposito didn't immediately follow. Instead, he came over to the couch and sat down where Sarah had been.

"Dude," Esposito said in a low voice, "I'm sorry about this, man."

Ryan inhaled a deep, shuddering breath. "Where did I go wrong, Javi? Where did I lose her?"

"Hey, you haven't lost her yet. Sure, she fell off the path, but we're here to get her back on track, right?" Esposito put a hand on Ryan's shoulder and squeezed. "Beckett and I are here for you, man. You and Sarah and Jenny."

"Jenny!" Ryan cried. "What am I going to tell Jenny?"

"The truth," Esposito replied gently. "You've gotta get through this as a family, right?"

Ryan nodded and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "Sarah won't talk to me, Javi. She said she wanted to talk to you and Beckett."

"That might be best for now," Esposito said. "Let Beckett and I get the facts straight. But she'll talk to you, Kevin, when she's ready. You're her father, she just doesn't want you to be disappointed in her."

"But I'm not!" Ryan cried. "I mean, yes, I'm disappointed in her decisions, but not in _her_. I'm disappointed in myself. I let her down. I didn't protect her; I wasn't involved enough!"

"You've been a great father, Kevin, don't self yourself short."

Ryan closed his eyes. He needed to call Jenny.

* * *

 **TBC**

 **A/N: I will reply to reviews that have questions or answerable comments in my profile!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Hello, everyone! Thank you for your reviews, follows, and favorites. I'm so glad that people are enjoying this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it! Just a reminder that I will answer most reviews/comments/questions in my profile. If you have posted a review (thank you!), I probably have posted an answer, so you can check that out!**_

 _ **This chapter is going to have some flashback scenes. All flashbacks will be in italics. And, just as in the last chapter, I will mark who's POV each part is to make it easier on you readers.**_

 _ **Again, thank you for reading, and I hope that you enjoy this chapter.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Delving**_

 **Chapter 2**

 _ **Sarah's POV**_

 _The first day of high school and Sarah's mind was on everything that could possibly go wrong. She felt shy and uncomfortable as she tried to avoid the gazes of the sophomores, juniors, and seniors who were seeing their freshmen peers for the first time this school year. Some of them teased and jeered, others just stared and whispered with their friends._

 _Sarah tried to ignore the knots tangling in her stomach, and just find her locker number 499. 401, 402, 403… she sighed. She was still a long way from her locker. Adjusting her backpack, Sarah pushed ahead, maneuvering through the crowd of students who seemed intent on being her personal obstacles. No matter how many times she said, "Excuse me," they'd just stare at her and stay rooted to their places, forcing her to edge around them, and bumping them with her backpack. "Sorry," she'd mumble, every time, even if it wasn't her fault._

 _Finally, she saw it. Locker 499. It was the one thing in this entire school that would be her own. She felt as though she had found her safe place as she carefully unlocked it and started to unload some of her extra notebooks, pencils, and pens from her backpack. A photo of her and her parents fluttered out of one of her spiral bound notebooks. She tried to snatch it before it touched the ground, but it floated just out of her reach and slid between two pairs of feet of the boys talking at the locker next to hers._

 _Cringing, Sarah knelt down and tried to reach inconspicuously out and grab the photo before either boy noticed. However, just before her fingers could catch the edge of the picture, one of the boys bent over and picked it up himself._

" _Cute," he said, standing. He turned around to face Sarah as she stood upright. "This you?" He pointed at the little girl in the picture. It was from five years ago…she was only eight or nine._

" _Yeah," Sarah said. She reached out to take the picture, but the boy kept it just out of reach._

" _And your parents?" he asked._

 _Sarah nodded. "Yes. Can I please have my picture back?"_

 _The boy gave her a cold stare for a couple of moments and then smiled. "Sure." He handed over the photograph. "I wasn't gonna keep it."_

 _Sarah nodded and turned back to her locker, tucking the picture up on the top shelf._

" _You a freshman?" the boy asked._

" _Yeah."_

" _You look like a junior," the boy said, adding, "Not to say you look old or anything…just that you don't look like one of those baby-faced middle schooler's that come dawdling in on the first day."_

 _Sarah smiled. "I feel like one."_

" _Nah," the boy said, still smiling. "You just need someone who has got it figured out to show you the ropes."_

" _Like you?" Sarah asked skeptically. She noticed that the boy's friend was no longer around. It was just the two of them, talking._

" _Sure!" the boy said. He reached out and gave her arm a gentle tap. "I've been at this joint for a year now…I know it like the back of my hand."_

" _So you were the baby-faced middle schooler that dawdled in last year?" Sarah asked._

 _The boy grinned. "Wow. You've got some sarcasm hidden behind that pretty face, huh? I like it. I think we'll be good friends."_

" _Maybe," Sarah agreed. She closed her locker. "By the way, my name is Sarah Ryan."_

 _The boy held out his hand. "Jace Owens," he said._

 _ **Beckett's POV**_

Beckett and Sarah walked into one of the interview rooms. It was small, simply furnished, but comfortable. "Why don't you sit down, Sarah," Beckett said, indicating the couch.

After a moment's hesitation, Sarah complied. She clutched the edge of the couch cushion so tight, her knuckles were white. "So," she said, staring at her Converse sneakers, "are you going to ask me questions about Jace?"

"In a minute," Beckett said. "I need to grab a couple of things first. Would you like something to drink while you wait? A soda, a water?"

"No, thanks," Sarah said. She smiled, but it was incredibly forced. It didn't even begin to touch her eyes.

"Right," Beckett said. "You hang tight. I'll be right back."

Sarah nodded.

Beckett walked out and met Esposito coming out of the break room. "Before we talk to Sarah," she said, motioning for him to follow her to her office, "let's review the Emory interrogation. I want to know what he said about Sarah and Jace."

"Shouldn't we have someone stay with Sarah?" Esposito asked.

Beckett shook her head. "No. She needs a few minutes to herself. She just found out her boyfriend was murdered, and that she now has to tell us everything about her secret life. It isn't gonna be easy for her."

"Right, Cap," Esposito agreed under his breath. He added as they entered her office. "Ryan's calling Jenny now."

Beckett picked up her cell phone from where she'd left it on her desk. "I'm going to ask Rick to come down here and stay with the Ryans while we interview Sarah."

"You think Castle can handle two distraught parents right now?" Esposito asked skeptically.

Beckett smiled. "It's almost as though you haven't known Castle for over twenty years, Espo."

"That's why it worries me," Esposito returned with an unsure smile.

The Captain shook her head. "I know this sounds crazy, but if anyone can help them put things into perspective, or even begin to understand what they'll be going through, it will be Castle."

 _ **Castle's POV**_

The text from Kate was cryptic: _Come down to the station as soon as you can._

Having been put under house arrest by his own wife so that he'd finish his latest book by its deadline, Castle was a little more than surprised she was giving him permission—nay, not permission—an explicit command to abandon his contract responsibilities to (presumably) help her on a case. Maybe not her. Maybe Ryan and Esposito. Either way, it was a case, and it wasn't his book, so he was happy to let his fingers nimbly type a reply: _I'm on my way._

After deciding to take a cab over his own car, Castle was left to himself to imagine what sort of case he was being called to. It would be a murder, naturally. But was the victim male or female? Rich or poor? Young or old? Famous or a John (or Jane) Doe?

He stared at Kate's text for clues. Her wording was strange for an ordinary case. It was urgent but personal. In fact, it didn't even say that she wanted him to be there for a case. Maybe it was something else, like about her job, or about someone being injured. That idea made him worry for a second until he considered that Kate wouldn't have him come to the station just to tell him one of his friends (or she) was in the hospital with a bullet wound or something.

No. It had to be about her job, whether a case or a promotion or…termination? Not termination. Kate wouldn't tell him about that at the station either. Or the promotion. It had to be a case. And it had to be personal. Maybe it was an old case, one that they thought they could put behind them but had snuck up again. Maybe one of the murderers they'd put away was out of prison and was looking for revenge, or had killed someone else.

Castle leaned his head against the window, frustrated by the lack of clues offered to him over text message. While he had been one of the first people to jump on the instant messaging train, it sometimes drove him nuts. He was a writer. He knew how to word things to give clues. Some people were texting illiterates. They seemed to forget that words don't carry voice inflection. He remembered arguing with Alexis over "texting text."

"LOL, TBH, and OMG are not real words," he whined.

His lovely, wise-beyond-her-years daughter had simply smiled and patted his arm. "You'll catch up someday, Dad," she said.

He hadn't.

After what seemed like an eternity, the taxi pulled up in front of the 12 precinct. Castle handed over his cab fare and climbed out, straightening his jacket before entering the building. The all too familiar elevator lifted him up to the homicide division, and he stepped into the bullpen. Even though she hadn't been in that place for years, he glanced to where Beckett's desk used to be before she became Captain. It felt like yesterday that he had been trying to flirt with the beautiful homicide detective who acted as though she would never give him the time of day.

And now, they were married.

He started to walk towards Kate's office, noting that neither Esposito or Ryan was at their desks. A twinge of disappointment clipped the edge of his mind as he imagined them off somewhere, investigating a crime scene without him. Maybe Kate hadn't called him down to work on a case. Maybe it was something entirely different.

Kate opened her office door to meet him. "Good, Castle, you're here," she said, "Come in. I need to talk to you."

"What's up?" Castle asked, noting the stressed tone of her voice.

She closed the door behind him. "There was a murder early this morning. An eighteen-year-old male named Jace Owens."

"Okay…" Castle said, trying to decide if the name should sound familiar. "Do I know him, or rather, of him?"

"No," Kate said. "But Sarah Ryan does."

Castle frowned. "What does that mean? How did she know him? Were they friends?"

"They were dating," Kate elaborated. She sighed. "Sarah may have been the last person besides Owens' killer to talk to him before he died. Needless to say, she's upset, and her parents are devastated. Kevin had no idea his daughter knew this kid, let alone dating him. Ryan was just handling it like any normal investigation, and then she gets identified by our key witness as Jace's girlfriend."

"And Jace wasn't some awesome, upstanding high school student, I'm guessing," Castle said, his voice dropping with sympathy.

"We think that Jace was involved in something. We found a man who says that, on a regular basis, he'd deliver large sums of cash to Jace. Jace would then give him a portion of the cut. Our witness, Emory, mentioned that Jace had a girl with him sometimes. He was going to describe her to a sketch artist when he saw Sarah in the bullpen with Espo. He claimed that she was the girl he saw with Jace. When we talked to Sarah a couple minutes later, she confirmed it."

"Ryan must be upset," Castle said.

Kate frowned. "That's an understatement. Jenny just got here a few minutes ago. They are talking to Sarah now, but Esposito and I are going to interview her. I had to review the interrogation with Emory, but I think Sarah's ready now."

"How can I help?" Castle asked.

"Kevin and Jenny need someone to stay with them while we conduct the interview. Sarah has asked that neither of them be present, but we are going to tape it for reference. I think that you are the best one to keep the Ryans from imagining the worst."

"Of course," Castle said. Despite the fact that he couldn't have known the reason for Kate asking him to come to the precinct, he felt a little guilty twinge prick his conscience for having hoped and been giddy for a murder investigation to help work on. Sometimes, he forgot just how personal these cases always were for the persons involved.

 _ **Ryan's POV**_

When Castle walked into the room, Ryan suddenly felt an immense wave of relief. Finally, someone who could understand what it was like to have their daughter part of such a terrifying and alarming investigation. Of course, when Castle had been in his shoes, Alexis hadn't been dating the murder victim; however, she had been kidnapped, taken out of the country, held for ransom, and then came back under peculiar circumstances with Castle at her side (he had never bought the story Castle somehow always elaborated on every single time he told it).

Even if their circumstances weren't the same, and Castle instance was much more dire, the love they had for their daughters were identical.

"Hey, Kevin, Jenny, Sarah," Castle said, lifting his hand in a casual and light-hearted wave. He was smiling as though nothing were happening at all.

"Hey, Uncle Rick," Sarah said.

Ryan glanced at his daughter and immediately noticed that she was less stiff, less tense. The whole time he and Jenny had been in here, trying to coax anything out of her about what she had been going through the past several weeks ( _or months or years!_ Ryan thought frantically), Sarah had answered their questions minimally, and kept her shoulders tucked in, her head down, and her legs crossed, closing herself off from the people that loved her most.

"I'm just here to hang out with your parents while you talk to Kate and Espo," Castle said offhandedly, shoving his hands into his pockets like a little boy who was nervous…and lying by understating the truth. His gaze flickered to meet Ryan's for the briefest moment before he added to Sarah. "Mind if I steal them from you?"

Sarah actually smiled. "Not at all," she said.

Castle grinned. "Great!" he said, and then turned his attention officially to Ryan and his wife. "Shall I show you how to use the espresso machine properly?"

Incapable of putting forth the same mood Castle was trying to portray, Ryan simply stood up with Jenny and followed Castle out of the interview room. Castle went straight to the break room and immediately began to make coffee. "I know it's a little late for coffee, but I think the occasion demands it."

"Beckett told you everything?" Ryan asked, ignoring Castle's attempts at normalcy.

"Yeah," Castle said, not turning around. "She did."

"How could this have happened?" Jenny asked, her voice breaking. "We were so careful. I thought I knew all her friends, let alone a boyfriend."

Ryan took her hand, holding it tightly, for her benefit, but mostly for his.

"Sarah's a good girl, who may or may not have made a poor decision," Castle said, turning around and handing a mug of coffee to each Ryan and Jenny. "But I know that however this turns out, you will both love your daughter just as much as ever."

"Of course we will," Ryan said, defensively. How dare Castle suggest otherwise?

Castle held up a hand. "I know you will, and you know you will; however, the most important thing is that Sarah knows. If you want her to open up to you, you have to make sure that she understands that no matter what circumstances she happens to run into, you will always be there for her, even if it means standing behind her when she has to suffer the consequences of her own decisions."

Jenny nodded, her eyes tearing up. "Yes."

Ryan pulled his wife closer, wrapping an arm around her shuddering shoulders. "We'll get through this, babe, as a family."

 _ **Esposito's POV**_

After reviewing the Emory interrogation, Esposito felt sick. It suddenly made sense why Ryan had reacted so strongly to discovering this daughter was, as Emory put it, "Jace's Girl." It was more than Sarah being involved in criminal activity, it was the situation she had put herself in, to be ogled by that little creep that was sleeping the rest of the drugs out of his system in a holding cell downstairs. He couldn't imagine the thoughts that must have pounded through Ryan's head as the realization tumbled down on top of him in a heap.

He waited until Castle had brought Kevin and Jenny into the break room before he joined Beckett and Sarah in the interview room. Sarah's eyes were red still from crying; however, her face had dried, and she looked more relaxed. The Captain had been right: she needed time to adjust to the situation that had jumped her. Nonetheless, he could tell that anything could set her off. She might be calm now, but it was only because she had reached the stage in the grief process of denial.

"We're going to record the interview," Beckett said, setting up the video camera in the corner. "Is that okay, Sarah?"

Sarah shrugged. "Yeah, of course."

"Great," Beckett said. She pushed the record button, and the little red light came on.

Esposito sat down across from Sarah, and Beckett sat next to him.

"Now," Beckett said, leaning forward, "I know this isn't going to be easy, Sarah, and we're probably going to ask some hard and uncomfortable questions; however, it's very important that you tell us everything honestly, even if you think we won't like the answers. Do you understand?"

Sarah shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "Yeah," she whispered.

Esposito pulled a picture of Jace out of his file. "Can you identify him?" he asked.

"That's Jace," Sarah said, taking a breath. "Jace Owens."

"When and where did you and Jace meet?" Beckett asked.

"I met him at my locker my first day of high school," Sarah replied. She swallowed and smiled. "He had the locker next to mine. I was nervous, and he said he'd show me the ropes because he was a sophomore. We became friends."

"But he's two years older than you," Esposito said, more passionately than he intended.

"He got held back in eighth grade," Sarah explained. "He changed schools like four times that year. It threw off his grades. It wasn't a big deal…"

"No, of course not," Beckett agreed, defusing any heated emotion Esposito's question might have sparked. "We just want a little background on who Jace was. What can you tell us?"

Sarah took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and stared at her hands, picking the nail polish off her left thumb. "He'd been a foster kid since he was four. His mom died in a car accident, and his dad was in prison. When his dad got out, he never came back for Jace. So Jace jumped from foster family to foster family. He said it was hard because he couldn't make friends, and…" Sarah paused, "he realized nobody ever really loved him. He said that I was the first person who ever cared about him." Sarah closed her eyes, and a tear rolled down the side of her face, leaving a glittering path behind it. "He didn't deserve to die."

Esposito grabbed a tissue out of the tissue box beside him and handed it to Sarah. "Hey, girl," he said, "I promise we're going to find whatever freak did this."

Sarah nodded. "I know. But that won't make Jace come back." Suddenly, she began to sob again. "It's all my fault!" she choked.

The words made Esposito's stomach jump into his throat. His first reaction was to somehow take away any pain that Sarah felt, any guilt she might be harboring as part of her grief. However, any comforting words fled from his mind, and he felt helpless to do anything but reach again across the distance between them and take Sarah's free hand.

"Sarah," Beckett said with a gentle firmness Esposito wished he could replicate, "I know this is hard. And I know that it always feels like we could have done something more to prevent a tragedy that was out of our control, but I promise you, Jace's death was not your fault."

Sarah shook her head violently, pulling her hand away from Esposito, and drawing it against her almost protectively. "You don't understand," she cried, "I knew that what Jace was doing was illegal. I didn't know what he was doing exactly, but I knew it wrong. But I helped him anyway because I thought I could save him."

Esposito could have sworn Sarah punched him in the gut. His vision blurred as the substance of Sarah's words penetrated. He didn't know he was speaking until he heard his voice through the haze of the blow. "How were you helping him?" he asked.

"I was one of Jace's runners."

 _ **Sarah POV**_

" _You promised me, Jace!" Sarah cried. "How could you do this?"_

 _"It was a one-time thing, sweetheart," Jace said, reaching out to touch Sarah's shoulder.  
_

 _She pulled away. "I trusted you."_

" _I know, babe, I know. But listen to me. My supplier told me that if I didn't do this last drop, he'd take care of me for good. I owe him money, Sarah, and I told him I'd pay him back without doing his drug work. But I can't. I don't have the money, and I can't get it."_

" _I could have helped you," Sarah said. "You should've asked me. I have a college fund. I could have borrowed from it, and then you and I could pay it back before my parents' notice."_

" _C'mon, Sarah. You know that wouldn't have worked," Jace scoffed, shoving his hands in his pocket._

" _We could have figured something out," Sarah argued._

" _It's too late for that now, isn't it?" Jace said with a sigh. "I wasn't able to make the drop when I was scheduled to, so now I've got to keep the stash on me until tomorrow. If I get caught with it, I'm going to prison, Sarah."_

" _You wouldn't go to prison," Sarah said. "You're under eighteen."_

" _But I'll be eighteen in a couple months," Jace said. "And after that, I'll be dead. I couldn't survive prison, Sarah."_

 _Sarah didn't know what to say. "What are you going to do?"_

" _I need your help, Sarah," Jace whispered._

" _How?"_

 _Jace reached into his backpack and pulled out a paper bag. "Please. I need you to hold this until tomorrow."  
_

 _Sarah took a step back, horrified. "No! I can't do that! If my parents caught me with drugs, they'd never trust me again."_

" _Do they look through your backpack every night or something?" Jace asked._

 _It sounded condescending, and Sarah retorted. "No. But if this is the one time they do, it would ruin my family, Jace. My dad's a cop. He thinks that nobody is above the law."_

" _Even his own daughter?" Jace asked._

" _Especially me," Sarah said._

" _Do you agree with him?"_

 _Sarah hesitated, glancing away. "Yeah. I do."_

" _Then why didn't you turn me in last year? When you found out I was dealing?" Jace asked._

 _Sarah couldn't think of an answer, so she didn't say anything. She knew the reason: it was because she couldn't see Jace arrested because of her. She couldn't do that to him. Not the one friend she had in the world._

" _I need this, Sarah," Jace pleaded. "Just one night. That's all. Then I'm out of this business for good. And this time, I'll keep my word."_

 _He held out the bag to her, and she took it._

 _ **Beckett's POV**_

This changed everything. Sarah was no longer a victim of association. In the eyes of the law, she was a suspect. She was a criminal. Potentially, this compromised her future forever. And what was worse, her parents were in the other room, waiting for Sarah to return to them, to tell them nothing was as bad as it seemed. That she had been caught in the middle of something she hadn't known about or understood. But instead, everything exploded into a mess of devastation that would break the hearts of two of her closest friends.

"Sarah," Beckett managed to say through the painful lump forming in her throat, "I need you to start from the beginning. You can't keep _anything_ from us."

"I didn't want to," Sarah sobbed, clutching both hands to her hairline and combing back her hair. She didn't stop gripping the sides of her head as she added, "I didn't mean for Dad and Mom to find out this way, Kate! The reason I was here today was to tell Dad everything. I even brought the notebook of all the places Jace had me pick up his money from."

Out the corner of her eye, Beckett saw Javier sway slightly, catching the arm of his chair for support. "How many pick-ups did you do for Jace, Sarah?" he asked.

"I don't know. Ten, maybe," Sarah said. "But I swear, I thought I was helping Jace. I only did what the detective told me to do, and I turned over all the evidence I could get…"

Beckett's heart skipped a beat. "Sarah, you need to slow down. What detective? What evidence?"

Sarah sucked in a breath of air, held it for several seconds, and released it. "A couple months ago, I got arrested for possession. But the drugs weren't mine, they belonged to Jace."

"Jace was into drugs?" Esposito's voice shook vaguely, and Beckett shot him a look, silently warning him to keep his emotions in check, despite the situation.

"He told me he was done with them," Sarah said. "It was because of drugs that we broke up last year. He promised to get rid of them for good. And then, a few months ago, we got together again. Not even a month later, he came to me and said that he had to make one more drop or his suppliers were going to kill him for missing a payment. The problem was that he had missed the drop time, and had to wait until the next day. He asked me to hold them for the night, because if he got caught with them, he'd go to prison." Sarah's voice became fainter and fainter as she spoke until Beckett had to strain to hear the girl add, "I got caught with them instead."

"You got arrested on possession?" Esposito cried. "How did your parents not know about this?"

Sarah's eyes came up to look at Esposito. "The arresting detective said that if I helped him find out what Jace was actually into, he'd drop all charges and not tell my parents anything."

Beckett closed her eyes. "So you became an informant."

"I had to," Sarah said.

"Who was the arresting detective, Sarah?" Beckett asked.

"Detective Andrew Prescott," Sarah replied.

Beckett caught Esposito stiffen out the corner of her eye. Everyone knew of Detective Prescott in narcotics. An arrogant blowhard who enjoyed bending the rules just for the thrill, Prescott somehow managed to rub every detective, beat cop, DA, and secretary he came across the wrong way. And yet, the higher-ups loved him because he got results, and had made a record number of arrests and drug busts in his short, five-year career.

"How long have you been in contact with Detective Prescott, Sarah?" Beckett asked.

"Two months," Sarah said.

"And what evidence are you turning over to him?" Esposito asked.

"I give him my share of the money that I pick up for Jace, and the locations of where I picked it up," Sarah replied, winding her fingers together. "And I also tell him anything Jace said that might be helpful."

"Did he know Emory?" Beckett asked.

"I told him about Emory." Sarah bit her lower lip. "And when I told him Jace wanted me to help him pick up the money, Detective Prescott said I should. It would help the case."

"Do you know what Prescott thought Jace was into?" Esposito asked.

Sarah shook her head. "He never told me anything. When I'd ask, he said that it wasn't my job to put the pieces together, just to get them."

"But did you start to have your own idea?" Beckett asked.

"Jace was getting a lot of money," Sarah said. "Wads of it at once. I never counted it, but he'd always give me five hundred of it. I think he gave Emory the same."

"Sarah," Beckett said. "I know this is going to be hard for you to hear, but in light of the circumstances and the evidence you've provided, we're going to have to ask – where were you last night, after 11 p.m.?"

The blood officially drained from Sarah's face. "I'm a suspect?" she breathed.

"We're not accusing you of anything, Sarah, we just have to ask for the record," Esposito said gently.

Sarah sat quietly for several seconds before she said, "I was in bed. I did homework all evening and went to bed at ten. My parents said goodnight to me."

"Good," Beckett said.

"This is going to ruin them, isn't it?" Sarah asked. "Everything I've done. They're going to be devastated, and they'll never trust me again."

"We're going to work this out, Sarah," Beckett said, leaning forward and putting a hand on Sarah's knee. "You made some really bad decisions, but nothing you do will ever make your parents stop loving you. You have to remember that."

Sarah nodded. "But no one is above the law," she said faintly, and Beckett wasn't sure she heard her correctly. "Especially me."

 _ **Castle's POV**_

It seemed like an eternity. Castle couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing. Did Sarah have so much good information the case was basically being solved as the seconds crawled by or was she creating more questions?

Whatever the case was, Ryan was going stir-crazy. He paced the break room, clutching and unclutching his hands. Sometimes he thrust his hands in his pockets, stood still for a brief moment, but then set about pacing again, his hands always busy.

Castle watched those hands like they were a story in and of themselves. Those hands had done so much in Ryan's lifetime, especially his adult life. They wrote up paperwork, gathered evidence, handled deadly weapons, and also captured deadly criminals. However, they were also responsible for holding his wife's hand when they were taking their customary walk in the park together; pushing his daughter on the swing when she was younger; and on that night long ago, it was those very hands, darkened by ash and blood, that gently held his wife's hand and stroked the tiny, infant head of his newborn daughter. Now those hands fretted one another, wringing and tangling relentlessly as they mirrored the inner turmoil of their master's thoughts.

Jenny wasn't crying anymore, but it was as though she'd been hollowed out, her eyes staring at nothing, too lost in her own fear, her own distress, to notice that she had disconnected from those around her. And Castle didn't have anything else he could say that would comfort the grieving parents, waiting anxiously to discover the truth behind their daughter's hidden life outside their protection.

The long anticipated sound of the door opening made Castle stand and face his wife as she walked in, her hands pressed together as she avoided briefly making eye contact with the Ryans. "I'm afraid that what I'm going to say isn't good news," she said, sympathy playing her voice but not condemning it to being unprofessional. However, her eyes told Castle that her heart was breaking for her detective and his wife.

"How can it possibly be worse than we've been imagining?" Ryan asked, almost in an accusatory tone. He paused, cleared his throat, then went to stand by Jenny, putting an arm protectively around her. "Just tell us, Kate. Don't try to make it easier."

Kate caught Castle's gaze and held it, and he tried to read her thoughts. He'd stared into those eyes many times over their nearly two-decade friendship, and he didn't doubt for a moment that what she was about to say was going to be one of the hardest things she'd ever done. "I need to verify," she said, "that Sarah was at home last night after eleven p.m., all night."

"She's a suspect?" Ryan demanded, but his voice caught on the last syllable.

"No," Kate said quickly. "Of course not; however, we need to be sure we are above reproach in this investigation. We can't have anyone doubting Sarah's part in this investigation."

"Why is she a suspect?" Jenny asked, tears beginning anew.

"Please," Kate said, "Where was Sarah last night?"

"At home, in bed," Ryan said firmly. "I checked on her myself just before midnight."

"Okay," Kate said. "I'm sorry I had to ask that."

Castle spoke up on behalf of Ryan, catching the man before he said something he'd regret. "We understand, Kate. You're just doing your job."

Kate gave Castle a grateful nod. "Now," she said, addressing the Ryans, "let's sit down and talk about Sarah's position in this investigation."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Hello, everyone! Thank you for all the lovely reviews, favorites, and follows! Just a reminder that I will reply to reviews, comments, and questions on my profile page. So, if you leave (or have left) a review/comment/question, please check out my profile for my response!**_

 _ **P.S. Check on the poll on my profile concerning chapter length of this story. Do you feel that the 5,000 plus words rule I've set is a good one, or should the chapters be shorter and more frequent? Depending on inspiration and content, I could have longer chapters sooner; however, I can't make any promises!**_

 **Chapter 3**

 _ **Ryan's POV**_

Maybe it was all just a horrible nightmare. He'd wake up in a cold sweat, hyperventilating, and Jenny would be next to him, assuring him that everything was okay. Nothing he'd seen in his sleep was real.

However, as Jenny sat next to him on the couch, her hand clutching his so tight it was almost painful, he realized that no matter how surreal it seemed, it was, in fact, all real. Every startling word that came out of Beckett's mouth, every harsh truth that made his heart literally ache.

When Beckett came to the part about Prescott arresting Sarah on possession, and then using her as an informant on the deal that all charges would be dropped, he couldn't handle another word. He cursed the detective under his breath. "He dared to put my daughter in danger and not breath a word about it?" he demanded, his voice dangerously low. He couldn't say he wanted to kill Prescott, not in front of Beckett, but that was the reigning emotion. He felt as though his blood were boiling inside of him, burning his skin, and making his vision blur.

"Kevin," Beckett said firmly, "I know this is going to feel impossible right now, but I'm ordering you to take a few days off. You can't have any part of this investigation. I'm sorry."

He didn't trust the words that might come out of his mouth, so he clamped his jaw shut, pressing his lips together and ducking his head, hiding the fact that his eyes were becoming teary again.

Jenny gripped his hand tighter. "Where is Sarah now?" she asked.

"She's with Esposito," Beckett replied. "But she's more than ready to go home. I think she's been through enough for today," she paused for a moment, then added, "and so have the two of you. Why don't you go home, and I'll call tomorrow if we have any more questions for Sarah."

"Okay," Jenny agreed immediately.

Ryan felt her pull on his hand, urging him to stand up. But Ryan didn't know if he could. He felt drained and exhausted. Grief. Anger. Fear. Disappointment. However, none of those emotions were directed at Sarah. Every single one of them pierced him bitterly. All of this was his fault. He hadn't been there enough. He hadn't asked Sarah enough questions, offered enough advice, paid enough attention. What was worse, he was a cop. He was trained to see the signs when someone was lying when someone was hiding a secret life. He was a vital part in the process of convicting criminals. And yet, his daughter sat in another room, being interrogated, being asked for an alibi. His own child, his own precious baby. The very one he'd taken two jobs for when she was a baby, trying to put money into her college fund.

His thoughts drifted back to nearly fifteen years ago when his brother-in-law hired him to help with security. He'd seen someone's daughter get shot down in cold blood. He'd met the father, saw the blank look of daunted horror on his face as he tried to understand why his little girl, who had ever only tried to save the world, was the one who had to die. *

He'd wondered then what he would ever do if his daughter was taken from him so tragically. He'd thought of all the ways to keep her safe for as long as he could. And now, he realized, he'd almost failed. What if Sarah had been with Jace when he was shot? Would Jace's shooter have shot her too? Undoubtedly. The murderer could not leave witnesses, not even a 16-year-old girl who'd tangled herself in something way over her head.

Fear gripped him, clutching its icy fingers around his heart and cinching it painfully.

The killer was still out there. And they could be coming for Sarah next.

"Jenny," Ryan said, his voice on the verge of shaking. "Can…can I talk to Beckett alone for a minute? I'm sorry, I just, I need to talk to her for a minute."

He glanced up at her and saw the confusion etched on her tearstained face. However, she nodded. "Sure, babe," she said, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "I'll go check on Sarah. Tell her we're ready to go home."

"Yeah," Ryan breathed, nodding.

Jenny stood up, held his hand a moment longer, and then walked out of the break room, Castle following behind her.

"Ryan," Beckett said, "I'm really sorry, about all of this. I can't imagine how hard this must be on all of you…"

Ryan shook his head. He didn't want Beckett's sympathy. He wanted her help. "What about Sarah?" he asked. "Is she safe? Jace's killer is still out there. What if he comes for Sarah? What if he thinks that Sarah knows too much?"

"We can put a watch on your apartment," Beckett said, "definitely."

"What if that's not enough?" Ryan asked. He looked up at Beckett, but he could barely see her through the tears that had come again to invade his vision. "I've failed her once already, Kate," he whispered. "I've already failed her as a father. What if I fail her as a cop? What if I can't protect her?" He averted his gaze when the tears broke the barrier and tumbled down his face.

Beckett moved from her seat to the coffee table. "Kevin," she said. "Look at me." She didn't say another word until he complied. "You have not failed your daughter. Don't you dare even think that. Sarah made these decisions, and now she is paying for them dearly. Right now, you need to let Esposito and I be the cops. Sarah needs her father. She needs _you_. She needs to know that no matter what, you still love her. Protect her, Ryan, not as a servant of this city, but as her dad."

"I'm scared, Kate," Ryan said. He took a deep breath. "I can't take her home. It's too obvious. Odds are, Sarah didn't think about hiding where she lives. I'm sure Jace knew, and the killer can find out."

Beckett was quiet for several moments. "As long as you stay in the city, the three of you can stay wherever you feel safe."

"I might call my sister," Ryan said, "or maybe Jenny's mom?"

"That's good," Beckett said. "Just let us know where you decide to go, and we'll be sure to have a watch put on the place until we find whoever did this."

"Okay," Ryan said. He rubbed both hands over his face, trying to erase the evidence of tears before he went to be with Jenny and Sarah. "Thank you, Captain, for everything," he said."

Beckett smiled. "We're here for you, Ryan. All of us."

 _ **Sarah's POV**_

After Kate left to talk to her parents, Javier didn't say much. He asked if she was thirsty, if she wanted something from the snack machine. She said no. She didn't feel hungry, and even though her mouth and throat were dry, she thought she deserved the small amount of discomfort it brought her. After all, Jace had died in that alley. He might have suffered for seconds, minutes, or hours before death finally stole him. If she had turned him in sooner, if she had turned him in when she found out he was dealing a year ago, Jace might be safely tucked away in a cell, thinking about his life, trying to straighten it out.

Instead, she had let him talk her into one more year of freedom, a freedom that was actually a deadlier game in the end. He had used her, played her sympathy, taken advantage of the love she had developed for him. He told her it was to protect him. To save his life. But he had been wrong. And while he paid the ultimate price for that mistake, she would be emotionally picking up the pieces forever.

Javier didn't say anything after he asked if she was thirsty or hungry. He just sat there, across from her, reading through Jace's file, making notes here and there. She had been to visit her father enough times to know when he was actually looking at a file for work, or looking at a file to process a difficult question she had asked.

"Why do so many people hate, Daddy?" she'd asked when she was six.

When she was ten, "Are all murderers bad?"

"What would make you kill someone, Dad?" She'd asked that question last year.

And every time a question like that would come out of her mouth, her dad would sit there, open a file and stare at it for several long seconds. It took her a while to realize that it wasn't that he didn't want to answer her questions, but that he wanted to answer her questions carefully, to answer her exactly the way he wanted and needed to.

"People hate when they allow their emotions, their feelings, to control how they think about someone," he'd said when she was six.

"Not all murders are the same, Sarah," he'd said when she was ten, "sometimes, a murder is an accident, a crime of passion, when the murderer just acts in the moment without thinking about the consequences. I would say that those people aren't bad so much as forever damaged by a bad decision. Some murders are planned, calculated, and fueled by hate and revenge. I feel that those murderers are worse. But the murderers that I feel are the worst, the true bad guys, are the ones that never feel sorry that they've stolen a life."

He hadn't waited very long to think of an answer for her last question, the one she asked last year. He barely glanced at the file in front of him before he answered, "If anyone did anything to hurt you or your mom, if I let my emotions control my actions, that's when I'd be willing to commit murder."

"But you never would, would you, Dad?" Sarah asked.

He hesitated a moment. "I don't know. I would like to think I'd have the self-control to be the better person in the situation, but I honestly can't say."

That answer had made her think. Had made her skin crawl and tingle. She wondered what her mom would think of that answer, or Javier, or Kate. But then she thought, _Could I be driven to murder?_ After all, murderers weren't always psychopaths or villains. Sometimes they were ordinary people driven to madness when they allowed their emotions to control their actions.

"Emotions are dangerous," her father had told her once. "Never make a decision when you are angry, sad, or happy. Always wait until those first emotions pass, because you will probably see more clearly than you did before."

Sarah wondered where those words had been when she made the decision to take the drugs from Jace. When she'd allowed the initial emotion of guilt, of sadness, to make the decision for her. That was where all this mess began. No, she corrected herself quickly, it began when she didn't decide to go to her parents when she found out Jace was dealing in the first place. Her innocence of the situation had disappeared the moment she realized he was doing wrong and she turned a blind eye to it, thinking it was enough to break-up with him, hoping he would get back on track on his own.

"Uncle Javi," Sarah said, finally breaking the silence. "Why won't you say anything?"

Javier glanced up. "I don't want to say anything I'll regret," he replied.

His words stung, but Sarah appreciated the honesty. At least he wasn't trying to act like everything was fine, as though she hadn't done anything wrong.

"You can't say anything I haven't already thought myself," Sarah said. "You're disappointed in me. You wonder how I could have been such an idiot, how I could let myself be pulled into something like this. After all, my dad's a cop. I've been raised to be better than this. And that my dad, of all people, doesn't deserve to be stuck with a daughter like me. A low-life criminal's girlfriend, who's willing to turn ignore the bad stuff because she doesn't want to see it." Burning, angry tears found their way down her face as each embittered word tumbled out of her mouth. She clutched her fists so tight, her nails bit into her palms, but the pain didn't bother her. She deserved every ounce of pain she had and would have.

Javier didn't dispute her right away. He studied her until she wanted to squirm. Finally, he said, "Only one thing you said is true. And that's that you were too loyal to a boy who didn't deserve you. And while you're going to have to live and deal with the consequences of that mistake the rest of your life, you can't let it define you, Sarah. On top of that, you're one of the best things that ever happened to your parents."

Sarah tried to smile, but it refused to come. "How can I ever make it up to them, Uncle Javi? How can I ever do anything that will say how sorry I am?"

Javier leaned back in his chair and closed the file. "The first place you can start is taking to them about it. It's one thing to hear the story from Beckett. But hearing it from you…hearing you open up to them and ask for their forgiveness, for their help. That will mean the world to them. Because that's all they want to do, Sarah. They want to be there for you. They want to stand with you. And the only way that they can do that is if you let them."

Sarah nodded, but before she could say another word, her mom and Castle came in. Her mom stood there, in the doorway, staring at her for several, long moments before she said in a weak voice, "It's going to be okay, baby."

Sarah stood up and fell into her mother's embrace. She'd forgotten how painful, how confining all the lies and secrets from her parents had been. However, even as she held her mother close, allowing this moment of comfort, she knew there was one more lie she could simply never tell.

 _ **Castle's POV**_

Life wasn't always an easy pill to swallow. In fact, often times, it was the most difficult concept to accept. Because whether or not you wanted it, life happened. It moved with no regard for the people it might harm as it trundled along. And here were the Ryans, a family he'd always thought of as the ideal, suffering its consequences. Castle had raised Alexis as best he could as a single father, but he knew for certain that he had little to do with the maturity she had harnessed at a young age. She had always been an old soul, for which he was tremendously grateful. How many opportunities had Castle left open for Alexis when she was younger to make mistakes, to choose the wrong path? He shuddered at the memory of offering her an alcoholic beverage at his book release party the night he met Beckett. He'd asked her how she was going to have any great stories to tell of her youth if she didn't do questionable things once in a while.

Oh, how utterly grateful he was that she never followed his foolish advice. It wasn't until he saw the world for what it really was when he started working with Beckett that he discovered his little girl couldn't be protected just because he wanted her to be safe. He had to put forth the effort, take the time to ask questions, be involved in her life. And even then, her safety wasn't a given. She'd been in danger on several occasions despite his resolve to protect her.

And here were the Ryans. The parents that always seemed to do things by the good parent book. He could guarantee Kevin never offered his daughter a drink or suggest she make some epic mistakes for the sake of the story they'd provide in her future. As Castle listened to Beckett tell Sarah's story, where it all began, he wondered if the Ryans could have done anything to change the course she took. Maybe they could have, but if that was so, he couldn't see it.

TBC

 _ **A/N: So this is a version of a shorter chapter. The wait times wouldn't be as long, but neither would the content. Please let me know in the poll what you think! Also, be sure to check my profile for answers to your reviews, comments, and questions**_

 _ **Thanks,**_

 _ **Delving**_


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